Fuck A Femcee: Five Stupid Rap Whores I Want To Kick In The Crotch
Hello, if you’ve been following my blog for awhile, or even if you just know how to search me on this website, you know that I like naming names.
One of the first blogs I did for aboveGround was a “top” 10 list of female rappers. You can imagine how much trouble that got me into. I think I still get angry calls about that one.
So in the interest of more controversy, here is another list, one that I’m sure will bring an equal and hilarious amount of criticism. Here is my shit list of female rappers. These girls have done nothing but bring female rappers into the forefront of suckdom.
Before I continue, I just have to say, if you are offended by the title of this blog in any way, you probably take yourself too seriously and when I see you I’m gonna kick you in the crotch. Very, very, very, very hard.
You know, the “my neck, my back” chick. Doesn’t ring a bell? Well, her debut came out a long time ago, and when it did, she likened it to “Women’s Empowerment ” by exclaiming a nigga should be licking her pussy. And her crack. Don’t call it women’s empowerment just because you want to slut it up. Geez.
Khia was also on this reality show called “Miss Rap Supreme”, misrepresenting right along with VH1. She was catty and brash and got kicked off for spitting old lyrics. What a rapper girl. These days, You can catch Kia in the dirty alleys of Worldstar, talking shit about the industry. Whatevs. I will only remember Khia for her big tits, fake feminism and terrible raps. Pussy. And crack.
2. Kreayshawn / V-Nasty
They are obviously two names here, but put them together and they may equal one person..
These days, many artists, and especially rappers, can enjoy ridiculous amounts of exposure and kudos without actually having a catalogue. With one song and tons of hanging-out scenarios, Kreay and V have formed a “White Girl Mob”, complete with promethazine, door knocker earrings and for miss Nasty, a fucked up habit of dropping the N-Bomb while repping white girls hard. Now, if I were alot younger and on many more drugs I might think the music they offer up is dope. But I don’t think that. I think the music is trendy poop.
Also, I’m not really super offended by a trashy-esque white girl saying the N-word, I just think it’s highly irresponsible. And if I were to get called that by a white girl whom I can rap better than face to face? I don’t know man…she just better hope she caught me on a nice day. Chances are those two are gonna go down. For being racially irresponsible. And stupid.
3. Li’l Mama
Aye girl I’m gonna go a little easy on you because when you came out that shit was hot. “Lip Gloss”, while gimmicky and corny as FUCK, showcased that you had a raw ass talent. Thought you were gonna go far, girl.
But now what? 1.5 records in a zillion years? She jumped on stage with Jay-Z, said Nicki stole her style, and the music is no where to be found. More music and less stunting, please. You don’t win the right to pull stunts when you’re a judge on America’s Best Dance Crew, and not in the recording studio. Mario “AC Botox” Lopez got you faded anyway. I just want you to get it together girl. Oh, and I like the way you stood up to Charlamagne the God on the radio, too. He’s got women issues up the ass and you didn’t let him butcher you. But since you’re the “voice of the youth”, you need to give the kids some music. Before your name is ‘Older Mama’.
4. (The New) Li’l Kim
Now, before you start bitching, I am considering Li’l Kim post “Magic Stick”. Li’l Kim before that record was ok with me. I mean, the oversexed, gold-digging chick is not my idea of great rap music, and you can’t deny that Biggie helped her tremendously with her tunes, but I have always recognized her place among the greats. Since her multiple plastic surgeries and (again) battles with other female rappers, in addition to her music taking a complete nose dive in quality, she’s getting the thumbs down so HARD from me. I think it might be all over for her. Diddy needs to take the wheel.
5. Nick Minaj
She’s a wild card for me. I think she has done so much for us women artists in the last couple of years that I can’t knock her hustle. But she should stop trying to pretend she’s this underground female rapper. She’s a pop cartoon and she does what she’s told. Her actual talent doesn’t shine. She goes on tour and gives lap dances. That ain’t hip hop.
And that’s all I’ll say about that.
Have I left any out? I’m sure I have. Let me know in the comment section and we can talk about it. Let’s kick some more crotches.
Get FamiliarJ. Kennedy
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