Cool Story Bro: Last Week’s Wackest Hip Hop Headlines (July 9)

As the U.S. celebrated its freedom from oppression (sorry, Brits), we, unfortunately, did not celebrate freedom from wackness in the world of hip hop. This week, we changes up the title just a bit but we’re bringing the same level of idiocy from hip hop sites across the net.


5. The Roots’ ?uestlove Announces Fourteenth Album Title


This headline would be great — if it weren’t completely inaccurate. Questo did hop on Twitter and send out a tweet about the new album, but he certainly didn’t “Announce” the actual title. He simply have an acronym — &TYSYC — with no further explanation. How is that an announcement?


4. Hip-Hop Rumors: Is Kim Kardashian Trying To Buy Beyonce’s Favor?


This isn’t a rumor — it’s made up. You figured out that someone bought an expensive gift for Beyonce’s kid and automatically jump to some sort of assumption about their ulterior motives. What is this, a tabloid?


3. Bang Em Smurf Offers Advice To Hip-Hop Artists Locked Up

Bang Em SmurfSite:

One word: Who?


2. Game Fights 40 Glocc, Posts Video on Website

The GameSite:

XXL certainly isn’t the only site guilty of pandering to this idiotic story, but, come on. Look at this objectively for three seconds. The shoddy iPhone footage of Game “fighting” this dude clearly shows the guy — who is apparently being “Mayweathered” — smiling throughout the entire ordeal. Not to mention the fact that these dudes went through the trouble of setting up an entire website for this shitty, 100 second video. Are you really too stupid to recognize a blatant publicity stunt?


1. Machine Gun Kelly Explains Why He Loves Black Women

Machine Gun Kelly


Come on, man. Really? It’s not even that the story’s premise is so bad — but just read this dude’s comments. “[Black women] either give the best head or [they] say [they] don’t give head. White girls, they just give head…with black girls, it’s not that they don’t give the best head, it’s that most [black women] say, ‘I don’t do that’…whereas you just need to show your skills, ‘cus black girls give the best head, 100%.” — What?

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